Summer lovin’

 

 

 

The last few weeks have been super busy and super exhilarating. I love Love LOVE teaching these precious students all I can about our savior. 

Last Saturday, we had a final celebration for all students who were able to be a part of our Summer English Program at Balang Baptist Church. We were able to extend an invitation to all the parents as well making this a very special time. 

 

In America, life and parenting are a bit different than in Cambodia. Here, many parents know that their kids go to school, but usually have no idea what is happening while they are there. If students have homework, parents will never ask about it and generally only really know anything about grades when it comes to exam time. This is so sad to me. 

I remember when I was a child, my mom greet me at the door asking if I had a good day at school, followed by the rundown of normal questions – “What did you learn?”, “Did you get to play with your friends?”, “Did you have a good lunch?”, “Do you have any homework?”, and “Do you want a snack?” 

At times, I would answer vaguely and maybe even become frustrated with the daily interrogation, but inside I knew it was just one way of my mom showing me how  much she loved me. 

When we love someone, we invest in them… and when we are invested in, we feel loved. I have made it a personal goal of mine that if I am at Hope House when I child returns from school that day, I will give them a big hug and ask them about what all went on at school. It may seem like a small gesture, but to me, those moments are some of the most precious I share with my students. 

Khmer schools are also very lecture oriented and never really focus on any arts. Therefore, children do not come home with beautiful or even not so beautiful artwork that they have put their little hearts into to proudly present to mom and dad and see displayed in the house for some time. They don’t have school plays, or open houses, or parent teacher meetings. Kids go to school to learn because it is expected and parents just assume they are doing what they are supposed to. 

All of this leads me to the point of this blog… I cannot tell you how brightly the smiles of the children and teenagers in our Summer English Program were beaming as their parents filed into our small, dusty church building to see their children sing, dance and be presented with certificates stating they spent six weeks doing their best to learn English.

 

This is so different than what they were used to. I was so overwhelmed with joy at seeing their little smiles that I was moved to tears more than once during our celebration.

 

Pray for Cambodia. Pray for its children. Pray for its parents. Pray for salvation of many students and parents we have come in contact with in Ballang village. Pray that the staff at Hope House can do their best to be imitators of Christ and show the love of God as they interact with students each and every day.

 

Beauty in the midst…

Ok guys.. Last week I told myself that I was going to be more on top of this blogging thing and my first goal was to write a blog today… Sunday. Usually, my Sundays are pretty relaxed with a big chunk of free time in the afternoon to spend as I see fit, so naturally, I thought this would be a good plan. Today on the other hand… was quite busy.. but definitely a good busy.. So here I am at 9pm writing a blog. Hope you enjoy! 🙂

 

Years ago, in my faith journey, I was sitting in a small Jacksonville coffee shop discussing the details of what it meant to live a compelling Christian life. This coffee shop was so obscure that I cannot remember the name of it, or even tell you clearly if it is still open. I was sitting on a couch with my friend from Bible college taking in all the sights and sounds of the part of town that Christians are not supposed to be hanging out in… much less at late hours. Above me were several playing cards all stuck to stark black ceiling which angled into walls filled with local artwork, exposed brick, and giant chalkboards covered in glorious depictions of the culture and how it was being interpreted by those who were at the shop. Music was permeating the walls from the bar next door, and there was a sketchy “back room” for which VIP access was required.

Across the room, I saw two very tattooed and very drunk dread-headed Rastafarian wannabes. The table in front of them all trendy and hipster-like with its antique mismatched chairs was occupied by a couple you would expect to see on an album cover by just how well they seemed to fit the alternative counter-cultural music scene.The man behind the bar, a rather boisterous fellow who I am sure used to be part of some 80s hair band, had greeted us with open arms asking all about our lives and our favorite coffees and recently had dropped by our couch for a second to ask about our favorite type of marijuana too. This particular man was wonderfully friendly and immediately told everyone he met how much he loved them. The only other people where those shrouded in a cloud of cigarette smoke just outside the front door. This place had all the ingredients to make many Christians squirm and uncomfortably scoot right out the door as soon as possible.

As I was sitting there with my friend who was asking hard questions and challenging the faith he had grown up in and blindly followed thus far, it hit me that even though I was nearly finished with a Bible College degree I had only just begun to scratch the surface of the love Christ has for us and what it means in our relationships with other.

My friend (We will call him Steven.) was discussing with me the concept that “God is love”. He had recently been very broken by some mistakes his family had made and people who had a very skewed view of what love really means. As I was trying to encourage him to continue to seek God even though those who had taught him of God his whole life had acted nothing like the people God created them to be he said this to me. “Kayla, you will never understand this completely because when you came to church, the body of Christ became the family and unconditional love you had never experienced before. Falling in love with Jesus and His church is what kept you here on this earth. For me, it’s different. We always had Jesus. We always had ‘the body’… and we were deeply involved in it. In the past year, all that I knew as certain in ‘the body’ and in family and in love has been ripped away. I am falling to pieces and I am scared to ask Jesus to catch me because those who claim to love like Him are the ones who pushed me over the ledge. Christ gave you everything, but right now, to me, it feels like He is the one who has taken my everything away.”

Boom. There it was. The truth at the core was that the “body of Christ” was not living, breathing, or loving like Christ had commanded. ( I will say there were several people who were still loving on Steven. He was just having a really hard time seeing it.)

 

God is love.

 

Those 3 simple words have bewildered me and astounded me ever since that day.

 

This week I have been reminded of that truth again and again and I am so thankful for the fresh brush of Gods love I feel painting the picture of my life.

If God is love, that means that all these things that we call love on the earth.. The things that give us the warm fuzzies, that make our souls smile in places we did not know we were there, that cause a child to jump into the arms of her parents, that lead us to fall for someone so much so that we would be willing to join with them for the rest of our lives, and that make our hearts to flutter at the thought of them are all made possible by God himself.

Love is a pulse that runs through our world and we all feel it at different times in different ways and we all … for lack of a better word.. LOVE it. As humans, we LOVE love. It is as simple as that.

Imagine a world with no love at all. A place so dark and so selfish that love simply does not exist.

Now imagine a world full to the brim of the pure love of God. Every heart so full it’s nearly bursting.

Which one would you prefer?

As I spend my days living and learning the love of Christ, I see more and more how our human rendition of it pales in comparison. He gave it all … to His very last breath.

Walking down the sidewalk hand in hand with a tiny Cambodian child today, I felt God’s love overflowing in my life. Peace and joy were overtaking me and I could not even begin to consider worrying. Knowing God loves me perfectly brought me perfect peace, because having perfect love means perfect trust. It means casting out all fears. (1 John 4;18)

These kids I spend my days with need the love of God in their lives. Each hug, smile, high five, or pinch of their little brown noses shows them a tiny glimpse of who God is and how much he loves them even when they feel unworthy.

^The above statement leaves me with a huge responsibility though. If I am a person who knows Christ and just what His love has actually accomplished for each and every one of us, I must ,then be an imitator of Him. My actions, moods, motives, and plans should reflect only the love Christ has filled me with. The love of Christ should be the sole force that compels me. (2 Cor. 5:14) What these kids see in me, they relate to how they view the God I say I represent.

 

I pray God have mercy and grace abounding on us as “the body”, because I personally know I don’t always live compelled by God’s heartbeat. I pray we are “bound in the spirit” (Acts 20:22) like Paul to show the world and the faces we see every day just who this Christ is we claim to follow.

Or responsibility is big, but our God’s love is bigger and He loves each and every person He created even when they choose not to love Him back. Pray with me as I continue here in my “Jerusalem” that God’s love for His children be my guide. Read 1John again.. and when you do.. allow a fresh wave of God’s love to flow over your life and fill in all the spaces that had become void and dark. Be overwhelmed and awestruck. God deserves it. He is worthy of the worship it will induce.

 

More of You, Lord.. and less of me.

Rust stains are the hardest to remove…

Let me just start out by saying that I cannot sit down to read any part of the book of Acts without being astonished at all that was happening in the lives of the early Christ followers. Yet again, I sit in awe of the stories I have heard a thousand times. The Bible is such a wonderful text in that way… so alive and full of surprises!

This brings me to Acts 4- Peter and John have been going around preaching Christ to people all throughout the land and suddenly they are faced with a challenge.

“By what authority do you do these things?”

By what authority to we do our “things”? It is so easy to think.. ” I am on the mission field living a life of sacrifice for Christ. I must be doing this by His authority,” but sometimes, when I really think about it, I have to admit that I may be doing some of “these things” by my own authority. How true of all of us, right? I am forever astonished by my own selfishness and even more by how skilled I have become at dressing it up as holy. I have learned the Christian game… and I am ashamed of it.

 

So God has been working on me.. Scrubbing away little spots of darkness to reveal more light in me than I could ever imagine. It’s not a light buffing away of minor imperfections.. no no. God is breaking out the steel wool and Ajax for these set in rust stains!  Let me just say it does not tickle. It is even a little scary at times. Moving closer to Christ means being stripped of security blankets I have clung to for years… blankets I did not even know I was hiding under at times. Its a wonder I have not suffocated yet! But that’s grace…

Back to our story… Obviously Paul, being the wonderful, outspoken person that he was put those rulers in their places. Not only did he say that they were preaching under authority of Christ, the one true way to Heaven, He called them out for being the cause of Christ’s death.

“Then Peter, filled with the Holy Ghost, said unto them, Ye rulers of the people, and elders of Israel,If             we this day be examined of the good deed done to the impotent man, by what means he is made             whole; Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of             Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, even by him doth this man stand here             before you whole. Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus             Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, even by him doth this man             stand here before you whole.Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under             heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.”

I can only imagine the faces of the rulers when Peter includes that little phrase, “whom ye crucified”. He was not scared to hold back what he knew to be the truth and he also was not quick to take the praise and glory for what was happening for himself. Oh no, God just started scouring another spot.

Pride.. the yearning for glory and recognition… Don’t we all fight it?

Can I tell you a secret though? God’s grace never runs out!  

We are not even to my favorite part of the story yet!!!! 

Verse 13: “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they                   marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus. “

 

That certainly bears repeating: “AND THEY REALIZED THAT THEY HAD BEEN WITH JESUS.”

They had gotten close to the Messiah, and they had walked away different from before. There was no denying it.

I always say that I want God to do things in my life in such a way that there is no doubting by what power it was accomplished. How awesome if that were how ours lives usually looked as opposed to how they sometimes look?

These were not men who had seminary educations or had been to medical school, yet they were preaching with authority and healing hurting people. How? Only Jesus….

I guess this goes back to the whole reason of this post. God is changing me and teaching me so much in my time here in Cambodia, and my prayer for all of us in this crazy journey as followers of Christ is that people would realize that we have been with Jesus.

 

 

Perspectives: Thoughts from the field

 

We can say that we do not want to change them or make them act like Americans until our faces turn blue, but the truth is… we do. 

 

God tells us to “Go and preach the Gospel to all nations”. So we do… We offer our lives as a service and living sacrifice to the one who created the universe. I commend those who are willing to serve Him above all else in America or in the African bush, but is there something we are missing?

 

I have learned from my short time here in Cambodia that I have a superiority complex… and so does everyone else.  Think about it.

When each person chooses the manner in which to live his life, even down to the smallest details, he does so because he has weighed the available options and chosen some to be the most effective, most frugal, most efficient… and the list goes on. In essence, he chooses the way of life he chooses because, to him, it is the best way. After all, if he knew a better way, would he not choose it?

 

Therefore, when we see someone from another country doing something we already know how to do, we think, “How blessed would he be if I taught him the way that I know. He surely would never go back to his old way.”

–Superiority complex-

Of course we would never say this out loud.. or even out rightly to ourselves in our minds, but think about it.

 

Now, before you dismiss what I am saying, I obviously do not think this is the way to run a ministry on a foreign field. Maybe the missionary has not thought about all the details behind the way the nationals do what they do… or even the way the missionary does what he does.

For example, Looking out at the lives of the children at Hope House, I am frustrated by the fact that we now have a computer and it is barely ever turned on. Why? Because the Cambodian people have never needed it before! If I take the time to teach them computer skills, could it possibly better their quality of life? I suppose. But they have to be willing to learn… they have to see the possibilities the computer could open up to them. I cannot place my opinions, thoughts, judgement, etc. on the fact that they would rather hand write a sign out sheet than type and print one. They have to decide for themselves if printing is or is not the best option. Maybe it is difficult to find printer ink in the village. Maybe the benefit does not outweigh the high cost of electricity. Who knows? They have their reasons and I have mine.

I am not here to change them.

If someone decides the computer could benefit them, then I am more than willing to work with them and help them to learn a new way of doing things. Until then.. I watch and learn how they do things.. and wait.

It seems to be that way with most menial tasks we perform throughout the day. For example, I need to go to the capitol for a visit with some friends. Therefore, I need to buy a bus ticket. One of the girls at Hope House offers to go buy it for me since she knows where the station is. To me, while this is a kind gesture, it is a bit frustrating as I think about how I probably should know where the bus station is for future reference. I ask her if I can go along. “No.” Hmmm …. so strange. Later I learn that if a Khmer person buys the bus ticket, it may be significantly cheaper than if they see a foreigner milling about the station. All of this time, I felt I was being held out on, when really I was being helped. -perspective-

I do not know the rules here. I do not know the refs. I am a rookie. I need to sit back and learn how to play the game before I jump in and attempt to be the all star.

 

Missions is hard. God burdened my heart for a place and a people. I waited…. I got to visit the place and meet the people and have a little taste of all that God has planned for my future. I waited… Finally, I got to come back here to “share all my wisdom with them” and “lead the whole country to Christ”…. and I am waiting.

 

…waiting to learn,.. waiting to see… waiting to move… because God’s timing is perfect.

 

Yes. Learning the language is important… but are lives being changed from my sitting in a classroom? It is hard for me to see it directly, but I have to know that God is always up to something. He works in ways I cannot see… and so what can I do? I do my part… and wait.

God has a perfect plan for all of us and if we are willing to seek Him, He also has His perfect timing in that plan. For now, we need to do what God has already challenged us to in this day, in this hour, in this minute. Let the big plan

s and dreams rest in Him! He knows exactly how to fulfill them. (After all, He gave them to us, right?) I guess in essence I’m saying…

 

“Bloom where you are planted.” 

 

– and wait with an expectant heart for all that God has in store.

 

News from Deputation Life…

I am so excited to announce that on this day in seven weeks, I will officially be a resident in Cambodia. This thrills my heart to no end. I cannot wait to see the faces of the people that I fell in love with last Summer. God has absolutely perfect timing and an absolutely perfect plan and I am so blessed to see that unfolding right before my eyes. I have been dreaming of missions since high school, and my God never forsakes me. There are no words to describe your dreams unfolding before your eyes.

As God has been working in my life, He has also been at work in all of yours. I am so thankful for all the prayer and support you all have been filling me with. Through wonderful churches and individuals, God has helped us all together to grow near my goal of $1800 monthly support. As the time draws near, I would like to share with you some simple supplies I need before leaving the states and when I actually arrive in Phnom Penh. If any of you would be able to help me out with those, I know God will bless you for your willingness to serve.

First on the stateside:
– 2 Rummikub board games –
http://www.target.com/p/pressman-rummikub-game/-/A-10266319#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=rummikub

– 1 bananagrams board game
http://www.target.com/p/bananagrams-anagram-game/-/A-11152283#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=bananagrams

And… in Phnom alongr /> – Couch – $500
– Furniture (tables and such) – $200
– Linens – $50
– Kitchen supplies – $100

I am trying to minimize what I bring from the US because I am able to purchase many things in the capitol city, They will be easier to transport to along Thom that way. While I am here, I would love to share a few of the blessings I have received along the way.

– Watermelon Creek Baptist church donated $300 for me to purchase an oven for my apartment in Cambodia.
– A donor purchased all of my curriculum for teaching English when I get there.
– Parkview Baptist Church ladies are donating 30 handmade quilts to take to the kids in Hope House anlong with some pillow case dresses and toiletry kits that can be used as a blessing to people in the country.
– Dozens of others have given me love and encouragement throughout deputation in a million different ways.

Let me just say that I am so blessed to be in the place where God has put me today and  I know I would not be here without the influence of each of you in my life! I am praying for you that God will continue to bless your faithfulness to His calling. Have a beautiful day!

Time for an update!

As many of you know, I was in a car accident right before Christmas. I ended up with a broken hip and a pretty busted up knee. Shortly thereafter, I had hip surgery and now I am in recovery mode. Through the circumstances of my accident, I ended up moving out of my dad’s house and staying with Barry and Laura Peters. They have been wonderful, gracious hosts. 🙂 I am so blessed to always have people around me who love me. 

I have been in much contact with a mission board since I have been in Tennessee, and I am hoping to finish up the last leg of the admission process in the next couple of weeks. I am praying all goes smoothly as this is a vital part of my fundraising. 

The good news is that I have had time to think about what God would have me do when it comes to moving forward on my Cambodia plans. Everyone keeps asking how this effects them. As of this moment, I am still going to try to stay on schedule. Obviously, I need to make sure that I am completely healed and released from the doctors in order to do so, but I also know I have an all powerful God who could heal me in an instant should He so choose. My attitude is expectant. God is working in and through me during this trial. 

 

On Sunday we were singing about how God’s love never fails us no matter how heavy the storm seems to be. The words resonate with my heart. Even when it seems things are hopeless, I have an everlasting hope… and a God who never fails. I could not imagine my life without that. 

 

Thank you all for the prayers and support you have given to me through this time. As always, I am greatly indebted to you for all of your love and care. When days are hard, I can rest in knowing there are people out there praying for me and I love that more than most anything in this life. 

 

Isaiah 26:3

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee because he trust in thee.

The Law of Love

This December, I would love more than anything to give the gift of God’s Word to these precious people. While I was in Cambodia, I saw a need for each of the children at Hope House to have their own Bible. Most of them have never personally owned much if anything with the poor conditions in which they have grown up. They have “pew Bibles” at Ballang Baptist church, but by the time all of the kids grab them, there are usually only a couple left for the congregation. In Cambodia, a Khmer Bible can be as low as $5 per. When you estimate about 20 children in Hope House, and the cost to actually get the Bible to them, that means we can all be a blessing for just around $125 this Christmas. If anyone would like to donate $5 to send a Bible to a needy child at Hope House, you can send a check written out to me (as I will be collecting all of the funds) with the word “Bibles” written in the memo line by December 16th, and I will send it on to Cambodia when we reach our goal! Together we can spread the Gospel across the world!! 🙂

Kayla BRoadrick
3495 Tyree Springs Rd
Hendersonville, TN 37075

A breath of fresh air..

John 12:26- “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.”

Have you ever met anyone who was just like a breath of fresh air? Sokly is a beautiful soul who lives in Kampong Thom, Cambodia. Every moment when I felt overwhelmed while I was in Cambodia, I knew I could look forward to a visit from Sokly. She, her husband Sina, and their daughter Silyna were related to the Horn family and so they visited quite often. Sokly brought smiles and encouragement with her wherever she went. She and her family lived in a single room home with her mother, her brother, and several neices and nephews. Though her family was devoutly Buddhist, she stood up for her faith and what Christ had accomplished in her life. She not only taught at a Christian school a missionary friend had started, but she tirelessly cared for her own daughter and mother along with all of her neices and nephews. I remember on Sundays how she would make several trips back and forth from her house and the church so that she could bring all the kids to church on a motorbike. This amazing woman was always able to encourage and inspire me and sshe was always willing to give me a big loving hug. It was no secret that she was deeply in love with Jesus and, consequently, all the people he had placed in her life. Her favorite place to be was at the feet of Jesus serving others for the glory of His name. I long to have a love for the Lord to even half the degree of her love. I pray she inspires you as well through her story. “We are made to reach out beyond our grasp.” -Oswald Chambers

The time in between…

Hey everyone!

I have been trying to post an update on here for a while, but life is so different in America than it was in Cambodia. Before I left, I was warned of the natural tendency people have to see America in a different way when they come back from an extended trip. Good news! America is still a great place to live! Although, I can see a few things that I wouldn’t mind making a little more “Cambodian” about my American life. (#!- eating much more fresh food) 

Good news is that I can still see God working in my life here just like I could there. I finally made my move to Tennessee where I am able to build some better relationships with my family before I leave once again. Here in TN, I get to intern with a great group of leaders at Grace Church (If you’re ever in the Hendersonville area, come check us out!) and continue my work at Lifeway. I am meeting some awesome people and really trying to learn as much as I can. 

As far as my future in Cambodia, God has given me an opportunity to go back for a whole year in April with Parkview Baptist Church. I will be administrating Hope House once again and I will do a more focused study of the language. 🙂 Hopefully I will be pretty fluent the next time America and I are reunited. I’m going to be raising monthly support and some set up costs during this time in between. Currently I am working through the application process for a mission board. Stay tuned for more updates on that!

In all of this, I really can’t believe that my dreams are coming true! Years ago, God sad, “Be a missionary to Cambodia,” and I told him I would go. From that moment on, I sought every opportunity to grow and learn how to be a missionary and what Cambodia was all about. Waiting to go, though it seemed overwhelming at times, gave me the perfect opportunities to grow and learn more about who HE is. I know God’s timing is perfect, and though I feel completely inadequate, I am also encouraged to know that He uses those who are obedient. I have so much to learn. My heart yearns to be back in Cambodia, but I know He is working through this second round of waiting. I can’t wait to see all He will do to conform me even more into the image of His Son. 🙂

 

As far as prayer goes, I do have a few requests:

-pray for the students and staff at Hope House to continue in spiritual growth 

– pray for wisdom in me as I seek out a mission board

– pray for funds to come in as we know God can do anything

– pray for my future plans in Cambodia as we are working out housing, ministry, etc.

 

 

Thank you so much for your support! I can still feel your prayers. You will never know how much they mean to me. 🙂

 

Isaiah 6:8

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

 

 

Confession

I admit that I have been remiss in not posting a blog for so long. Every time I sat down to write, I didn’t have any words to say except, “Thank you, God”. I didn’t want to write my last blog because i didn’t want to admit it was coming to an end. Now, I am waiting to embark on the long flight back to America… and I still have no words. I am in awe of all that God has done in and through me in the last three months. There is no way to explain how completely perfect my whole trip was. My heart is broken for the Cambodian people and I cannot wait until the day I step back on Cambodian soil. I know God has a purpose and a plan for my having to say goodbye, so I am willing to submit to His command in my life to go back home to America. I know He is preparing me for His perfect plan in my life. When I left for Cambodia, the one thing I knew I would need to focus on is that God is all that I need. I knew leaving my friends and my family would be one of the most difficult things that I had done. As I say goodbye to my new friends in Cambodia, I am finding it is more difficult than the first time God asked me to let go. He is still all I need. I have to remember that I can live in any place with any thing or any people as long as He calls me there and I know He is with me. I want to be perfectly obedient to Him. I am praying for wisdom in attempting to know exactly what He wants me to do next.  Please join me in my plea for God to make His will perfectly clear and not to let my emotions blur my vision. I want my emotions to reflect the lament he feels when He considers a lost and dying world and an glimpse of the joythat leaps within His heart as His beloved choose to serve Him and grow in unity. Updates will continue as my journey with Him is far from over. I know that”He who has begun a   good work in me will complete is until the day of Christ”. Hopefully I will go back to Cambodia but as for now, I am overjoyed that I get to see all of those who love me and support me in the US. Thank you for making a difference in me.